|
 Dear Laura: My wife died on May 24th, 2000 after battling
cancer for 10 years. We had been married for 33 years and have 3 children and 3
grandchildren. We had a good married life according to how other people saw us. I loved my
wife dearly in my own way, and she loved me in her own way. However, our relationship was
not a warm and open one. We were faithful to each other over the years and, although, we
talked of going our seperate ways at different times, we never acted on it . For me, it
was more a sense of commitment and stick-to-itness that kept us together ;and, after she
got sick 10 years ago, there just was no question about leaving her. I held on to the
commitment I had made 33 years ago in my married vows 'til death do us part. Now
that she is gone, I have to reinvent a new life for myself and I want to live it to the
fullest, and I know that that is what she would want me to do. But how soon can I start to
do that? I have been seeing a lady friend that I like very much and who had been part of
our lives on and off for the last 25 years. I have kept in touch with her over this period
of time. I have always been able to talk to this friend openly and freely and felt quite
comfortable in her presence. She has been a source of comfort and support at this very
difficult time in my life. She is very much aware of my present emotional state and we
have discussed quite openly the dangers involved and of the risks of getting hurt. Ours is
also a sexual relationship and we both feel very good and comfortable about it. We care
for each other very much and want to keep on seeing each other. However, I am concerned by
what will other people think. Am I being disrespectful to my wife by not allowing more
time to pass? Have I lost complete touch with reality by engaging in a relationship so
soon? At times I feel that I have gone through the grieving process many times since my
wife was first diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago and now it is time to move on. And, at
other times, I just don't know. If anybody else is living a similar experience, I would
really love to hear how you are living this. [R.J.L.]Dear RJL: Please do not let what others think keep you from happiness at this stage of your life. I'm sure that there are quite a few people who already know about you and your new lady, so you might as well be open about your relationship.You're not being disrespectful to your late wife; you seem to have treated her in a very loving and compassionate way. If marriage is being considered, though, you might want to set the date for at least 6 months from now. That will give the rest of your family time to get used to the idea of you remarrying. Laura Dear Laura: I just lost my 36-year-old, little brother to suicide a few months ago. I lost my dad 2 years ago(old age) and my sister who was 38 in the 80's. In the 70's, I lost my brother to suicide. This has happened three times in my family. I feel at peace about my dad who wasn't a suicide victim, but the sister and brothers concern me. I'm not sure whether I'm mad at them or scared for their eternal soul. It almost seems like a natural part of my life since, every decade, someone in my family dies of suicide. We were never a close family, but I still loved them all and, though I am at peace most of the time(because I understand it was their choice to do what they did), I am also angry at them for being so weak. I think of all the stuff I've been through, then take a look at their life(what I know of it) and I want to shake them if they were here. I guess I regret not being too close to them, not being able to let them know they could talk to me if they were troubled. It was like their way out of life. I just don't understand it. Sometimes, I think of them, especially the most recent death, and I hurt inside to know they chose such a terrible way out. I'm sure to them it was their only way out. I'm only 39, and I think a lot more about death now it seems. I guess that comes with aging - a lot of people we know have died and it makes one realize their mortality. [anon.] Dear anon: We're all weak in some way. People commit suicide not because they're bad, but because they're scared and confused. God does not punish us for being human - please do not be worried about the fate of their souls. There's a clue, though, in your letter: you say that your family never was very close. People often see death as a way out when they feel that they've run out of lifelines. It's a lesson for all of us to keep the bonds of love strong in our families. When people get desperate, love is often the only thing that can keep us emotionally afloat. Laura Dear Laura: I recently wrote(above) to you about the suicides in my family and I wanted to thank you for the wonderful words you wrote. You said we can keep the bonds strong with family members. I wish I would've heard that many years ago. But, how do you do that when you're raised in a family when closeness is not there? It's a shame we all had to go through so many tragedies before realizing it all comes down to love - something that wasn't shown much as I grew up. My children and husband and I are very, very close - unlike my parents, and brothers and sisters. I worked very hard at making sure of that, probably because I didn't have is as a child. But, keeping the bonds of love there for each other is so important. Thanks again for making me realize this. Dear Laura: My wife died July 29th, and I would like to know how long it takes to get over this agonizing pain. I cry all the time. One of the last things she said to me was, "I thought we going to grow old together." She was sixty-two. Thank you. [Doyle] Dear Doyle: The pain is still fresh, though it will ease with time. You've just got to hang on right now and get through the worst of it. Please seek some professional help if this continues much longer or gets too much for you. What you might want to do on your own is to keep yourself busy, to direct your grief - this has helped many people move through the pain. What I mean by directing your grief is to channel all this sorrowful energy into a memorial for your late wife. This could be an actual, physical memorial which you could design and build, or it could be some charity or good work which you could start in her name. Please think about it. Not only would this keep the memory of your love alive, but, also, make this world a better place. Laura Dear Laura: I have lost my baby grandson(16 months). I have 4 grandchildren, but he was so special. It's been over a month and it still feels like the first day.I sit and wonder when God will take me to be with him. No one should waste time with their loved ones. I took care of Jacob Issac as much as my daughter did. He would always make a bad day go away.To be so young and little and have so much power. The part that hurts the most is not having him every day to make my life bright and happy. To see that chubby little body and to have those arms reach for me. I see him so clear holding those arms up to me. [anon.] Dear anon: There's still much happiness to be found in this world. Some people, such as your little Jacob Issac, are so easy to love, but there are others who can make our days just as happy if only we would give them the chance. Your other grandchildren need you - that's where you'll find the remedy for your pain. These children are God's gifts to you; please, do not let your sorrow blind you to what riches you do have. Laura Dear Laura: Hello, my name is Carol. I lost my father 2.5 years ago and there hasn't been a minute in my life since that I don't think about him. I miss him so bad. He took my heart with him. I'm married and have two beautiful sons. I must get my strength to go on from them. I would appreciate your prayers. Life just isn't right without him. He was the best friend I had. Thanks for listening. My question is, will I ever be happy again? Dear Carol: You, most certainly, will be happy again - and in the very near future; though, it's up to you how soon this new phase of your life will begin. The seeds of this new happiness are within your reach. You need to look around you for the gifts that you already possess. Allow yourself to enjoy your current life, take pride in your sons. Your father would not want you to put your life on hold just because he's passed on. Give yourself the permission to be happy again - you know in your heart that's what he wants. Laura Dear Laura: My niece was murdered at the age of 29. This happened almost 6 years ago, and I still feel intense pain. I loved her so much. Can you explain why she was put on this earth, only to be murdered so savagely by drug addicts? Why would a beautiful young soul - beautiful inside and out with so much to offer, so much promise and love - have her life ended so brutally? My sister(her mother) has become so angry and sensitive and hateful - she has started a group to end murder - but she argues with her family members and takes offense to everything. We do not know what to do. It is so hard to deal with her. We have become a family estranged. What can we do? Thank you for any answer you may have. [Maryanne] Dear Maryanne: Why your niece was murdered, you may never know. What you can be sure of, though, is that we are all here for a purpose. Your niece touched many people during her brief time on this earth - that you can be sure of. All any of us can do is make the best of the time we are allotted. It's good that your sister has found a cause that she can devote her energy to, but it's obvious that she still has not come to terms fully with her pain. She needs to learn to direct all of her anger and sorrow towards the true source of her anguish, and not at those who want only to help her. Hopefully, with time, and the patience of understanding family members, she'll be able to free herself from this festering wound which is only partially healed. Laura Dear Laura: My name is Lisa, and my fiancé of 10 years had just passed - I'm 30, and he was 42. We have 2 children: 2 boys - one is 4yrs, and one is 10 months. His death was sudden, and I believe was a mistake by a doctor; needless to say, I don't have him anymore, and now my children don't have a daddy anymore. It's been 3 weeks since his passing, and I think it's hitting me hard now. I'm in work now, and no one around me is really talking to me - I guess they don't know what to say, but it's making it harder because it's silent around me. I feel as if I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, I just want to turn back time, I've had some rough times, but this tops them all. I feel like I'm not ever going to be the happy person, I was once before - after all, he was one of the reasons I was the person I was. I'm sure time will heal, but I just don't feel like this is fair, and it was definitely not God's will. This was a mistake by some doctor, and I will find out. This weekend I want to go to the cemetery, and I'd like to bring my 4-year-old - is this a good idea? He keeps talking about going and I think it will be a good idea, but I'm not sure if it's going to have any bad effect on him. I dont know what to do about anything. Please help. Dear Lisa: If he wants to go, definitely take him. Allow him to bring something to the gravesite, such as a picture, which he can draw, or some other such token. This will not have a bad effect on him if you handle it right. Even children need some way of saying goodbye. He'll be taking most of his cues on how to react from you. If you're sad - that's okay. Children need to learn that it's okay to be sad - even adults cry. But if you feel like you might totally break down at the gravesite, then I would recommend against it: children, at this age, need to know that there are adults around them who can and will still care of them. About the people at work, please read my letter on this subject - you're not the only one who has had this happen to them. And, you will be happy again. Please do not set yourself up for a life of longing and sorrow. Once this initial shock passes, you must force yourself to reassess your future. You do possess the elements of a happy and successful life - just look in your little boy's eyes. Laura Dear Laura: My older sister, Linda, was tragically killed in an automobile accident last Thursday. During my 34 years, I have never experienced the death of a family member and all my emotions are strange to me. In addition to my loss, she had four children. Her daughters are living on their own but she has two sons. One will begin his senior year in high school this up coming Tuesday and the youngest is 14. They have turned to me as their motherly figure. I do not have children, and I want nothing more for them to be happy and help to make their dreams come true. They are looking to me and I don't know exactly what to do.The fact that my sister was killed still seems like a dream. Although I realize she is dead, I just can't believe it. I feel so tired and sleep will not come easily. I have to be strong for her sons and daughters. They are depending on me, and I wish I had all the answers but I am so tired and shocked that I am unclear what I need to do. [anon.] Dear anon: Our prayers do go to you at this difficult time. It's very hard to be in the position of comforter when you, yourself, are also in mourning... The first thing that I must suggest is that you take care of yourself. See to it that you arrange counseling for yourself so that you can be there emotionally for these children. Secondly, ask the girls if they can help you by keeping an eye on their younger brothers to make sure that they're dealing with their grief appropriately - teenage boys tend to act out their feelings - we don't want them getting into trouble at school or with the legal authorities. Thirdly, talk to the people at the boys' schools. Teachers and counselors should always be notified if there is a death in the family. School personnel are in a unique position to monitor a young person's response to a death both academically and socially, and to offer special services as needed. Many school counselors are trained to identify and respond to behavior problems in school that may be grief-related. The next few days and weeks are going to be tough, but your family has obviously built up a lot of love and trust over the years. Now is the time for you to draw on these reserves. Confide in your nieces, share your grief - they're adults now. Together, as a family, you will get through this. Laura Dear Laura: I just lost my husband about seven weeks ago to a sudden heart attack at work. From lack of oxygen to his brain because they don't know how long he had been lying next to his truck, they brought him back with their magical machines but he was in a coma. After a week, I was called and advised to take him off of life support, that he was brain dead except for his motor skills. It was a very very difficult decision to make but I told them to take him off of the life support. He was having severe seizures so I did not let them take him off of that medication. He was breathing on his own and his heart was beating fine but then a doctor called me and said he could speed up the process of my husband's death since if he lived he would have been supposedly a vegetable by giving him morphine. I was so distraught over the whole thing and not really thinking clearly at the time, I agreed to it and my husband went that evening. I feel now like I gave the ok for the doctors to kill him by overdosing him with morphine. He was supposedly in no pain so was never given the morphine during his time in the hospital so to me this was an overdose to shut down his organs. I feel very guilty that I gave the ok on it because it was something that was permanent and I couldn't change my mind like I could on the life support machines. No doctor took the time to actually see me and talk to me about making these difficult decisons about the life/death of my husband. I just can't get past the idea that I gave the ok to kill my husband without the real knowledge of the condition he was in. I know he didn't respond to anything while in the coma. The whole ordeal of making a decision to take away life support from a loved one is so painful and leaves so many questions in my head. Did I do it too soon, did I give him enough time to come out of the coma, did I actually allow the doctors to kill him? Should I have just let God and my husband decide when it was his time to go without the morphine? Everyone I talk to says I did the right thing but they weren't the ones making that decision. They don't know what it is like so how do they know I made the right decision. It eats at me every day and I can't stop thinking about it. What do you think? [Nancy] Dear Nancy: What you have to focus on is that your husband was already brain dead. Whether he was in a coma or not, whether his heart was beating or not, the fact that he was basically brain dead was what was driving the doctors' decisions. You've got to keep going back to that hard fact whenever these thoughts of did I do the right thing? start repeating in your head. We all do the best we can, with the information that we have at the time.There seems to have been little more anyone could have done. The fact that he might have lain by his truck for so long without attention seems to have determined the outcome from the start. But, what I will and do take issue with is when a doctor or hospital does not provide a family with proper and immediate information and counseling. Now, the doctors on your husband's case might have been very busy, but there is no excuse for a hospital not to provide, automatically, someone else on the staff who could answer your questions and work with your family's emotional needs. It's so unfortunate that you have to be suffering so. You made the best decision that you could at the time, given the circumstances. The main thing that you need to keep repeating to yourself is that you were motivated by love. You did what you did based on your knowledge at the time, and on love. That's all God expects from any of us. Laura Dear Laura: After 35 years, my high-school love and I became reunited... after broken marriages, etc. It was so wonderful, so full of joy and hope and excitement. We were so in love and happy, but, now, the unthinkable... after 9 months(we could only see each other on weekends due to the distance and work, etc.), he has died. I felt there was something wrong and I believe he had an inkling, but not to this extent. When he got the news in the hostpital, he asked if I would stay with him until he died, as he only had a few days. So, of course, I did and we did laugh and hug and I took care of him, but my heart is broken; and I know I must be thankful the time we did have to finally enjoy and then say goodbye. But I am selfishly feeling so empty and cheated of our times ahead. He was a wonderful soul. I'll miss him forever, but will never understand how this could be. Thank you for reading this, perhaps you have stories such as these before. [Tisha] Dear Tisha: Yes, I've read stories similar to yours, but, usually, what is related is that someone wishes that they could have been reunited with their first love. You do know that the two of you were very lucky to have found each other again and to have had, at least, these last few months together. Though it's only human to still feel cheated, try as best you can not to dwell on it. I know that many of our readers envy you the gift that you were granted. Please look at your brief reunion as the blessing that it was and try to draw strength from your happy, yet bittersweet, memories. Laura Dear Laura: I tried this a few minutes ago, and there was a system failure, so here goes again. At least this time I can see the screen because the tears are dry. Two weeks and 2 days ago, my lover of 30 years was killed in an auto accident. He and I have been companions to 2 young men with developmental disabilities for 7.5 years, and they are like our sons. We have been totally dedicated to them for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. They travel with us, so, in reality, there has not been a vacation, which is the way we wanted it. I intend to continue this companionship for the rest of my life, but, meanwhile, I am hurting so badly I can't stand it. I have always been the strong one in our relationship - having seen Bob through the loss of his daughter, both grandmothers, 3 close aunts, 2 close uncles, and both of his parents in just a few years. I was the one who stood by him and helped him through the grieving process but now that it is my turn, I have no idea how to handle it. My #1 reason for living is gone, and, even though I have 2 more wonderful reasons to go on, the loss of Bob is almost more than I can bear. I have loved him for so long and so deeply that I am an emotional wreck. For the sake of my boys, I do well around them, but, given just a few minutes alone, I lose it. I reached the anger stage of grieving quickly, and that helped to curtail the tears but, yesterday and today, even the anger does not help. I feel like if I start crying, I might never stop. Please help me find a way to step around the emptiness I feel, so that I can still be the "parent" to my boys that has helped them progress more than anyone ever believed they were capable of doing. I do not want even my grief to interfere with what we have accomplished with them. [Mike] Dear Mike: May I say that it's people like you and your partner that make this a better world for all of us. I do commend you for taking on the care of these two boys. But, even the caregivers need help now and then. I know that this is going to be difficult, but try to arrange some time off for yourself so that you can come to grips with what has happened and allow this tear in your heart to mend. If you don't feel that you can get away even for a long weekend alone; at least, see to it that you connect with some sort of grief support group or therapist. You need some brief time - if only for a couple of hours a week - where you can be free to let out all these emotions that you certainly are experiencing, so that you'll have the strength to continue the good work that the two of you've begun. Laura Dear Laura: My grandmother passed away on June 21, 2000. She was a wonderful woman whom I loved dearly. I loved her so much, but I refused to see her in her deteriorating condition. I was not there when she passed away and I have been heartbroken ever since. I was afraid and felt hopeless because I could not help her. She always supported me and my decisions. My grandmother is one of the strongest women I know; I feel horrible that I did not have that strength when she needed it most... I failed her. I know that I can never turn back time again and tell her that I always loved her and I will never be able to hug her again. Please let people know of how important and meaningful it is to let others know of the way you feel toward them. Please advice them that life is too short and beautiful and we have to make the best of it while we can. Thank you for listening. [Gloria] Dear Laura: I'm 41 years old, and I had been estranged from my mother for nearly a year, due to her bitter, unyielding, and abusive attitude. Due to her death only yesterday (at this posting), I will never have the chance to reconcile with her. Now and for the rest of my life, I'm going to have to live with a lot more than simply the sorrow and grief of her death. I was told she lost her will to live after she had surgery. It makes me feel that my presence could have made the difference between life and death, but I never knew she was this gravely ill, because, since being estranged from the entire family, nobody bothered to tell me. Furthermore, I did not find out about my mother's death until this morning (at this writing) and I did so by a woman who used to be my next-door neighbor who called to express her condolences, unaware that I didn't know. I hate and resent my family and, since the only person who mattered is no more, I am going to do my best to look into the future without looking back at them anymore.But how do I deal not only with the grief, but the added guilt of not reconciling with her before she died, and as a result losing her will to live? [anon.] Dear anon: It's doubtful that your mother would have changed; and reconciliation is a two-way street. You may be grieving the death of what could have been rather than what was. Do not let these understandable, but unwarranted, feelings of guilt rob you of your future. A bright, productive life lies before you if you do not allow yourself to fall back into these old, familiar, family patterns of abuse, manipulation, blame and regret. Laura Dear Laura: My mother died sixteen months ago, her passing was sudden and very unexpected. I traveled 1000 miles in shock, arriving the next day. I had yet another shock: the funeral plan she had paid on for years had only a face value of two thousand dollars; she had her last wishes written out in detail; we needed seven thousand dollars and were unable to come up with that amount; we had enough for a nice viewing and cremation. My mother did not believe in cremation. I had to have her cremated and I have not been able to find peace since. I have tried to rationalize the act but nothing works. I'm filled with guilt every day; it is all-consuming. Other members of the family have dreams of her and are able to feel her presence; I am unable to feel her presence, I am unable to see her in dreams. I think I feel she hates what I did. I was unable to fulfill her last wishes. It almost feels like I have sinned and need to be forgiven. If this has happened to anyone else, please tell me how to overcome these horrible feelings. Life is so hard. [anon.] Dear anon: Much of this guilt is based upon an idealized view of your family's circumstances, and not its reality.You did the best you could, given the financial constraints that you were under... Your mother is NOT mad at you - she is beyond that now. You have to forgive yourself. Deep down, you know that her love for you has no room for blame - focus your thoughts on that. The true reason that you cannot feel her by your side is that you are in this mental state of agitation. You are most definitely surrounded by a strong, loving presence. But we need to be in a calm and accepting state of mind in order to be able to sense the spiritual. Please work on trying to rid yourself of this unnecessary guilt so that you'll be able to feel her presence as the others in your family already have. Every time that that guilty, inner voice starts telling you once again that you are to blame, that you should have found a way, counter it by repeating these words: it's not my fault, I did the best I could, I know Mother is with me. Write these words on a small piece of paper and carry it with you. Look at it and repeat its message whenever you feel yourself sliding backwards into blame. Please try it. It seems so simple, but this has worked for many people. You do not need to be suffering so. And know that our prayers are with you. Laura Dear Laura: I have just lost my father who was married to my mother for 64 years. My mother is having a very rough time of it. I think she is in a depressed state and I am not sure how to handle her. If this is the normal, or should we seek professional help? It has only been 3 weeks. [C.P.] Dear CP: Your main concern should be: is it affecting her health? If you observe that she seems to be getting worse, rather than better; then, by all means, see to it that she gets professional help. Prolonged depression - especially in a person her age - can have serious, physical consequences. This is a major, major change in your mother's life, and you owe it to her to see that she makes the transition as smoothly as possible. Laura Dear Laura: There are here too many stories of troubled passings. The occasion may be rare, but that's not necessarily so. I have given my wife of 42 years a rose for each year she put up with me. After four dying days with her eyes closed, she died with her eyes open and an expression as if she had seen a startling, wonderful vision. The wrinkles of pain and worry of the last few years had gone, and she was beautiful. She died in the very nice home she always wanted, given wonderful hospice care, surrounded by those who loved her. She died with no unresolved issues, no emotional baggage, just love. I go for long walks and talk with her. Our conversations are pleasant, without regret. I tell myself that when I grieve I only grieve for the loss of her, not for herself, for she is at peace, and finally in no pain. But I still cry. I can give her no more roses. Gosh, yes, do I miss her! [anon.] Dear Laura: My mum died today, Sept. 5, 2000... Please help me...I need to talk to anybody! I should have done and said so much more... should have hugged her more, kissed her more, been nicer, been a better son! Please talk to me. Thanks. [Dave F., UK] Dear Dave: These next few days and weeks are going to be rough, I know; but you're going to have to grit your teeth and hang on, trusting that this initial rush of emotions will pass. Please read the letter below yours. We all have regrets, and these feelings of guilt - whether real or not - are a natural part of the pain and shock of loss. You know that your mother loved you. Deep down, you must also know that a love like hers has no room for blame. She's at rest now and is watching over you. The best tribute you could offer her is to live a life that would make her proud. There's still time for you to make amends. Our prayers are with you. Laura Dear Laura: My father recently passed away. I had kept him independent in his home for four years and ran all his errands, as he was housebound. He came to live with me, and, three months later, he passed away. I am a single mother. I ran between two households for two years and welcomed him into my home. I was under such stress the three months he was with me, as I was sick with pneumonia, as was he. I found myself "yelling" at him, as I was so stressed. Now, after he has passed, I feel so bad that I yelled at him. I think he knew I was stressed, but I am devastated with grief as we were so close and so guilty that I yelled when I should have just understood. [anon.] Dear anon: You say that he knew that you were stressed... What you're experiencing now is a very common reaction to loss: our minds, in the pain of grief, often focus upon the little things that we could have done better or that we wish we'd not done. But, you're only human. That's why there is forgiveness - for others, and for yourself. You seem to have gone far beyond the usual requirements of family duty to care for your father - if you blew up at times due to the stress of having to do everything yourself, it's to be expected. Please focus your thoughts upon the good that you have accomplished - your father was a very lucky man to have had such loving care at the end of his days. Take comfort in that. Laura Dear Laura: My name is Renee Lipsey. I currently live in Alabaster, Al. I wanted to write and thank you personally for your time, compassion, and free time. The world needs more caring people like you. My family and I have experienced a lot of grief,sadness and tragedies this past 5 months. Well, I will start with the first sad event that occurred in our lives. On July 3rd, as my husband and two of my children were in Florida on vacation, my oldest child 20 years old was arrested and sent to jail.We returned home on July 8th from our vacation. The next morning at 7:00 am, my mother called with the terrible news that my Brother Chuck 41 years old was murdered in his home,on the morning of the 9th at 2:30 am, by an unknown assailant. Someone he had never met. I immediately packed up my children again and headed 5 hours to my hometown in Mississippi. I stayed a week and tried to comfort family and most of all my mother. The whole murder scene is still under investigation. The people responsible for my Brothers death are currently being held in the county jail. They have not yet been convicted. I did all I could do , as grieving heavily myself. I had to get back to the hustle and bussle of raising children and taking care of my family back in Alabama. I arrived home July 14th, trying to cope with the tragic loss of my brother. I received a phone call on July 20th that my grandmother in Missouri that I had just seen days before at my brother's funeral had a massive heart attack in Missouri. I stayed in touch with relatives in Missouri to keep track of Grandma Anna's condition. She responded to treatment well and began recovery almost immediately. Five days later she was back home. Thank God! We made it thru all this , and I get another phone call on July from my mother again saying that my 3-year-old nephew Charles "named after my deceased brother" had been attacked in West Virginia by a dog in the face. And was in the hospital in surgery. He spent many days in the hospital recovering from the attack and taking rabies shots, because the county didn't do their job and get the dog in time to check for rabies. Well, once again, we all recovered from that. And once again I received another call on, this time on my cell phone on my way home from visiting my son in jail. :( It was my Sister "Danie" this time asking if I was alone. I explained where I had been and that I was driving down the road. She asked me to pull over and said Renee Mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer this morning. My heart burst with pain. Thank God, I had a friend with me, It was to much to bear all alone. I again went to Mississippi to be with my mother and sisters for Mom's first surgery. They found more cancer in her lymphnodes. Two more surgeries to follow. The last one finding no cancer. Thank goodness. She will begin radiation next week. Christmas will be especially hard on our whole family, Especially Mom. Chuck was her only son, and first born. She grieves so very much. We all worry about her. Please say a special prayer for Our Family. And for Mom to recover fully from this terrible disease. We are sadden by our huge loss of a Son, Brother,Father and Grandpa. He was such a great man. Sadly missed by all that Knew him and Loved him. I know he's our Angel now. And he will always be in our thoughts and prayers, We miss him so much, your Mom, Renee,Chad,Danie,Lori,Shania, Bryce,Chris, Nicole, Brandon, Beau, and too many others to mention. [Reflecting Rose family] Dear Renee: Gather strength from the love of your family at this holiday season. Try not to focus on what you have lost but on the love that you have for each other and how it will get you through this trying time - this is the true gift that your family can both give and receive... Of course, you are in our prayers. Laura |
|
 |
|
| Go
to index of current message topics. Return to homepage.
|