To my dear reader/friends: If you would like to help those in New York City and Washington, D.C. who have been affected by Tuesday's disaster, please contact the following organizations: American Red Cross Online goto www.redcross.org To donate blood, give money, or find out about volunteering, call 1-800-HELP-NOW (800-435-7669) To donate blood, call 1-800-GIVE-LIFE (800-448-3543) or your local blood bank if there is not a American Red Cross blood bank in your area. Assistance in Spanish: 1-800-257-7575 Financial donations can also be sent to:  Additional
Sources for Donations
How to Explain What Has Happened to Your Children - Maintain Daily Routines- This can be reassuring for children. - Maintain A Calm Atmosphere at Home - Children sense and adopt the tension and anxieties of their parents. Granted, both of these may be difficult to do and this doesn't mean that we have to pretend that nothing has happened; however, try to be aware of times when your own grief and anger might be finding its way toward expression in other matters. - Monitor Television Viewing, Including the Amount and Intensity of the Coverage of the Tragedy- Some say that you shouldn't shield children from watching the coverage altogether, that that may only intensify their anxiety and curiosity. With older children, such as preteens and teenagers, I recommend that you make your own decisions, though if your older children are going to watch television, watch with them so you can ask them questions and be available to answer their question as best you can. But for very young children, you might just want to have them watch a video rather than broadcast cartoons on television since the networks have been unexpectedly interrupting programs with news bulletins. - Be Honest with What Has Happened - Yes, people have been hurt but assure them that they are far away from the disaster(which, gratefully, is the case for most of us). Children have imaginations and they might be imagining more horrific scenes than what is on television; in that case, watching television may allow them to see for themselves - again, it's up to you, the parent. Of course, answer them honestly. "Did the plane explode when it hit the building?" Yes, it did. "Did the people on the plane die?" Yes, they did. - Allow Your Children to Talk Freely and Express Their Reactions to Things Heard in School and Viewed on Television - - Do Not Force Your Views on Your Children - This is especially true for adolescents. Listen, don't lecture. Encourage your older children to work out their own "postitions" about the tragedy, even if they differ from yours. - Give Children Honest, Realistic Answers to Their Questions, though Make Sure That the Explanations Are Appropriate for the Child's Age and Cognitive Ability - For example, concrete answers are best for younger children, while more philisophical discussions will work for adolescents. Again, remember to listen, not lecture. Be willing to reassure and reframe some of their concerns that are generated by speculation. - Try Not to Use Vague Phrases Such As "Probably," "Unlikely," or "Chances Are" - Many of us are struggling to make sense of this and dealing with our own loss of security. Be aware, that in your own struggle, you are likely to answer children's questions and offer assurance with adult language. Most children don't understand "odds," "probabilities," or "percentages." But they have heard things like "We are probably not going to go to McDonald's today." and then they got to go and were happy. So, if you say something like "probably," it's hard to be sure what they're really hearing. Instead, talk about the reasons why we are safe. "There are lots of firefighters, police officers, and other brave people who are woking very hard right now to keep this from happening again and to make us all safe when we go back to school and work." How
to Handle What We As Adults Are Feeling - Be Gentle with Each Other and Forgiving of Yourself - Your grief is very likely to flare up in anger and rage in completely unexpected ways. - Try to Be Patient with Others - Road rage is likely to increase as people find outlet for the frustration, grief, and anger on anonymous others. If someone honks at you because you forgot to signal a turn or perhaps you just didn't signal soon enough to their liking, try to let it pass and not escalate the situation. - Do Not Allow This Terrible Feeling of Powerlessness, Which We All Share, to Move You Towards Mindless Racisim and Stereotyping - The Muslim community, by and large, has condemned these acts along with the rest of the civilized world. - Do Not Be Ashamed of Your Grief - Allow yourself to cry and weep, and be prepared for it to come up when you least expect it. If you truly feel you are in a place where you "shouldn't" cry, excuse yourself and go find a place where you can. Other
Links with Advice for Children http://www.cnn.com/2001/fyi/teachers.ednews/09/11/talk.trama/index.html http://fyi.cnn.com/2001/fyi/teachers.ednews/09/12/children.tragedy/index.html comforting books for children  And, a letter...
Dear Laura: I work at a hotline and we have been getting a lot
of calls with people upset about America's current events. How do we help them, what is
the best thing to tell them? Is there a "best" thing to tell them? [Jennifer]
Racine, Wisconsin |
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